Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

“This is our house. And this is America Online.” (While pointing at a map of the North American continent.)

“No it's not. It's a big hot!” At 2 years old. After being warned that the car seat was a little hot.

'There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.''

'Divorce is when mommy and daddy yell at each other then they spread apart. Then they put up a 'for sale' sign in front of the house and they spread farther and farther apart until they can't come back ever again and it's very sad.' (teaching her 4-year old brother)