“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.''

“This is our house. And this is America Online.” (While pointing at a map of the North American continent.)

“I wasn't yawning, I was just letting some fresh air into my mouth.” (After being accused of being tired.)

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.