“I wasn't yawning, I was just letting some fresh air into my mouth.” (After being accused of being tired.)

"That's the store that we need to go to and open the door and put our money in." (At age 3. While driving by the new Toys 'R' Us.)

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.

“This is our house. And this is America Online.” (While pointing at a map of the North American continent.)

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.