“I like lights on buildings, because without them you wouldn't be able to see all the beauty in the world.” (About the lights on the football field at the local highschool.)

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

'Daddy, how many whoppers are there in those tall trees?' After waking up in the car while driving through Calaveras Big Trees and hearing daddy say, 'Wow, that's a whopper of a tree.'

“This is our house. And this is America Online.” (While pointing at a map of the North American continent.)

'There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.''