'There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.''

'Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.'

'Daddy, how many whoppers are there in those tall trees?' After waking up in the car while driving through Calaveras Big Trees and hearing daddy say, 'Wow, that's a whopper of a tree.'

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

'Divorce is when mommy and daddy yell at each other then they spread apart. Then they put up a 'for sale' sign in front of the house and they spread farther and farther apart until they can't come back ever again and it's very sad.' (teaching her 4-year old brother)