“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.''

“If all the people in the world were nice could we just get rid of the word mean?”

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.

“This is our house. And this is America Online.” (While pointing at a map of the North American continent.)

“I wasn't yawning, I was just letting some fresh air into my mouth.” (After being accused of being tired.)